I'M A PROUD "BOY MOM"

When Aaron was getting ready to go away to college, he once said, "You're probably going to convert my bedroom into some other kind of room, aren't you?"

"What are you talking about?" I replied. "This is still your home. You're going to come back during your holiday breaks and over the summers. You're only living at school temporarily."

Maybe it was through movies or TV shows that he got the idea that kids automictically got kicked out of the house as soon as they turned 18 and become adults. I informed him that in many countries throughout the world, it was not uncommon for young adults to continue living at home with parents until they married, and that earlier in our history, this practice used to be the norm in the U.S. as well. But economic pressures and the fact that people are putting off getting married until they are older, has dramatically changed that.

Much has been said about the "Boomerang" generation (Young adults aged 18-34, particularly those in their early to mid-20s) of late, given the dire economic hardships our country has been experiencing over the past few decades. And the pandemic certainly showed us the importance of "communal living" as opposed to how ubiquitously siloed our culture has become, with people living far distances from immediate family, and sometimes, not even knowing or interacting with their neighbors. Which makes me grateful for another thing - We know all of our immediate neighbors and trust each other to watch over our homes while away, often lending our house keys, asking them to look out for packages, and bringing in our trash cans.

And while adult children living at home with their parents can create some challenges such as financial, emotional, or relationship strain for both young adults and parents, requiring clear communication and boundaries, that's not necessarily the case with us. Don't get me wrong - his room is a disaster (Dust bunnies multiplying like. . .Well, bunnies) and if he wants to live with clothes piled everywhere, that's his problem. I sometimes tease him that he's behaving like a crappy roommate when he leaves dishes in the sink rather than putting them in the dishwasher, and he seems to be allergic to putting away his shoes after he takes them off upon entering the house. However, for the most part, he's pretty respectful. And here's the thing - As a parent, we are so entwined in our kid’s life for 18 years. Then, suddenly they move out and we are never privy again to their private lives. We may never even know when we'll see them again, depending on how far away they live. This way, however, although there are some days when I rarely see him due to his work schedule, etc., I at least know that he's safe, fed, clothed, and mentally/emotionally stable.

Whenever Aaron is getting ready to go out either with his girlfriend, his buddies, or off to work, my parting words often include: Have fun, no blood (That's just a good general life rule for all situations, don't you think?), and live stream everything so I can see what you're doing. That last one is a joke, of course, to which he rolls his eyes, saying, "Yup."

Anyway, my point is this: After I graduated from college I also moved back home, which I HATED and I could not wait to move out. Upon returning home after my summer abroad, I remember thinking, "Oh, my gawwwd, now what? My life is overrrrr!" So, the fact that Aaron chooses to hang out with us on a night off rather than sequester himself inside his room, and occasionally likes to vacation with us (And not just because we pay for stuff. One time, while I was still in college, I swore I would NEVER go on vacation with my parents again, no matter how free it was.), maybe means that we didn't screw up too badly.

Whatever. I'll take the win.