TALES FROM THE CANYON Day 2

TALES FROM THE CANYON

August 17 – 24, 2022

Friday, August 19 – Day 2

“Sand in my mouth. I got sand in my mouth.” ~ Old Shady

(Men On Boats by Jaclyn Backhaus)

I slept surprisingly well, despite the weird dreams and several treks through the sand and brambles in order to pee. (Like I said, so much of this trip was about where and when to pee. Sorry. Just get used to it.) I took it to mean that at least I probably wasn’t dehydrated. . . Yet.

When we first went to bed, the sky was a blanket of dark clouds, and with no moonlight, it got very dark, very fast. Before I drifted off to sleep, I felt a couple of raindrops, and was ready to high-tail into our tent at any minute, but luckily the skies didn’t open. Then, on one of my nocturn sojourns to the muddy toilet, I noticed that I could still see after I turned off my headlamp. The clouds had disappeared and the stars, the Milky Way, and the entire galaxy came out to say hello.

If you’ve ever been fortunate enough to experience that kind of magical starlit sky, you understand how miraculous it is. It makes me feel small and insignificant in the vast expanse of the universe. And by the same token, it makes whatever problems and emotional angst I happen to be going through in my regular life also seem small and insignificant. It is “the great equalizer” and heals me in a way that helps me feel emotionally liberated.

Sunrise in the Grand Canyon was around 6:00am, but the sky would begin to lighten starting at 5:00am. So, that’s what time this non-morning person was waking up every morning. Yee-haw. Sean had told us that our schedules would rise and set with the sun, and as I lay on my cot rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I noticed at least three other people who were already up and about. They walked right past our camp site because Sean had set up the Poop Box down at our end of the beach.

The Poop Box was a rectangular metal container approximately 12 X 12 inches wide, and 16 inches high. It had a round lid that could be removed and replaced with a toilet seat.

At every beach where we camped, Sean would select a remote spot for the Poop Box along with another smaller metal container with extra toilet paper. One roll of toilet paper was placed in a plastic Tupperware container and left on a rock at the head of the trail leading up to the Poop Box, which could not be seen from that rock. This Tupperware container was considered the “key.” If it was missing, that meant the ”bathroom” was in use. Since Donna and I had selected a camp site furthest away from the kitchen area, we ended up close to the Poop Box trail. It would not be the last time this happened.

Consequently, Donna and I were the first to see who had “success” that initial morning, waking up in the canyon. As I mentioned before, all these shenanigans started feeling pretty normal as the week went on. I regret that I did not take a picture of our first poop site. It was like sitting on a throne! Sean had selected a beautiful spot. And since it was up on a slight hill, it had the best view on the entire beach! Each day it was the last thing to be unloaded from the raft and the last thing loaded on before we all climbed onboard. While we all helped load and unload, the only person who had to deal with the Poop Box was Sean. God bless him. And every single time just before he would go to retrieve it to load back on the raft before we took off for the day, he would shout, “Last chance to poop in a box!”

Breakfast consisted of eggs made to order, bacon, hash browns, and leftover chocolate cake. Each morning also included cereal, milk, fruit, juice, coffee, tea, and hot chocolate. Before every meal, Sean or Natalia would announce it by shouting, “Coffee’s on!” or whatever meal it was, followed by, “Wash your hands!” Over the two weeks prior to our arrival, all the river rafting trips had endured an outbreak of norovirus. Fun! It was lucky for us that by the time we arrived, the rafting companies were super vigilant about avoiding another outbreak. Phew! I cannot imagine.

Donna and I volunteered to ride up front in the “bathtub,” since the people who were there yesterday were still thawing out from their wet excursion. We prepared ourselves by wearing our rain jackets, which the people the previous day hadn’t done until they were already wet and cold. Our first stop was only a mile downstream from our campground to Redwall Cavern. Sean told us that everything looks smaller from the river. That includes landmarks as well as rapids. As we approached the cavern, it looked like an interesting little cave, but once we tied up on the beach and disembarked, the cavern was the size of a football field!

We hung out for a while, exploring, taking photos, and someone broke out a Frisbee. We were soon joined by another rafting group, and we could have had ten more groups join us and come nowhere near filling up that cavern.

One of the items I brought with me to the canyon was Lil’ Sumner, the Puss In Boots action figure I received from Jaime, who played Andrew Hall in Men On Boats. On Closing Night of our show, she gave everyone in the cast an action figure that corresponded with the personality of our characters. I brought Lil’ Sumner with the intention of taking his photos along the journey and sharing them with my cast mates. During the first couple of days, each time I posed him for a photo, someone would ask me, “What up with the Puss In Boots?” and I would explain my whole Men On Boats experience and how it inspired me to finally go on this bucket list trip. Sean thought it was funny and compared it to Flat Stanley.

After we left the cavern, we continued through a bunch of rapids, and the three of us in the “bathtub” got pretty drenched. Hence, the name. Like Sean said, things looked much smaller from the raft and as we got closer to the rapids we could see how big the waves were and braced ourselves for a good soaking. Mark (one of the guys from the Pacific Northwest, and our group’s “scapegoat” because on day 1 he broke a pair of shoes and was the first one to get caught in the “quicksand) sat in the “bathtub” with us, and at one point, as the three of us got a good look at a rather tumultuous rapid coming up, all he said was, “Oh my,” which made me laugh because it felt like the biggest understatement.

In Men On Boats, during one of the rescue scenes, the character Old Shady (John Wesley Powell’s older brother) shouts, “Sand in my mouth. I got sand in my mouth.” I am embarrassed to admit that I never understood why that line was uttered. NOW I do! When you get slapped in the face with a wall of sand and mud, you can’t help but get sand in your mouth. And in your ears, nose, eyes, and whatever orifice and surface is available. All week I was grinding sand in my teeth. It was all over my water bottles, lip balm, sunscreen, sunglasses, you name it! So after a couple of those rapids, I quickly learned that I needed to KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT. But that’s hard to do when you’re screaming.

At mile 53 we stopped at Nankoweap Canyon for a hike up to some Puebloan granaries that date to 1100 AD. It was not a very long hike, but since everywhere from the river is up, it was pretty steep. Sean described it as a StairMaster, which was pretty accurate. Natalia led the way and most of us could barely keep up with her. I consider myself to be in pretty good shape, but she’s a mountain goat and obviously so much more accustomed to the climate and elevation. She also wore sport sandals that seemed to barely cover her feet, and yet she practically pranced up that trail. Mountain goat!

The best thing about all the hikes we took was that you didn’t need to go up very high to see a breathtaking view and get a perspective of the enormity of the canyon. Our raft almost immediately looked minuscule from a short distance away.

We traded seats with others who wanted to brave the “bathtub,” and after passing through Kwagunt Canyon we found our second camping beach between mile 58 and 59.

Having learned our lesson, Donna and I chose a spot closer to the raft so we wouldn’t have to lug all of our stuff too far. No matter how wet I had gotten on the raft, by the time we were finished setting up our camp, I would be sweating. It was only the second day, but I was desperate to bathe. While Donna chose the sponge bath option, I actually tried to “wash” myself in the muddy river. Desperate times call for desperate measures, people! Using the biodegradable Wilderness Soap I brought that refused to lather, I attempted to wash my hair. Needless to say, it wasn’t great and left my hair with an “interesting” texture. After that, I also did the sponge bath routine, which worked much better, and later we would find clear waterfalls where I could at least rinse out my hair, and it was glorious.

Dinner was Salmon, rice, asparagus, salad, and nightmare pudding for dessert. Natalia said she had heard somewhere that eating chocolate before bed can cause nightmares. This dessert was Oreos broken up into chocolate pudding with globs of whipped cream. Everything was delicious, and I ate until I thought I would burst. I am not used to eating so much food and going to bed right after eating, so I was having a really hard time falling asleep. Plus, it was early! I normally don’t go to bed until 10 or 10:30pm, but the canyon is dark before 7pm. And although I brought a book to read, the headlamps attract annoying bugs that fly all over your face. I could’ve gone inside the tent to read and not have the bugs, but inside the tent was felt a sauna.

Donna usually gets to bed even later than I normally do, so the two of us were wide awake for a long time, while it seemed like everyone else was already snoring. Soon we got the giggles and had to make several trips to the beach to make sure to pee so that when we finally did fall asleep, we hopefully wouldn’t get the urge again. She was constantly looking over to see where I was and shining her headlamp right at me mid-squat. Nothing like peeing in a spotlight. Thanks, Donna! This only made us laugh more.

When we got back to our cots, we could hear the chirping of bats, and a couple of them flew directly over our faces, causing us to squeal like little girls.

After lying on our cots for a long while, I said, “Do you want some drugs?”

“What kind of drugs?” Donna whispered.

“I have Advil PM. I’m gonna take some. You want some?”

“Uh, okay. Yeah, I guess.” (Later, she confessed that she wasn’t sure what kind of drugs I was offering her. What did she think I meant? Cocaine? Heroine? Sheesh.)

At some point we finally fell asleep, only to be awakened when our entire tent, which had been directly behind our cots, blew over on top of us. A-ha! This is why Sean recommended that we weigh our tents down with rocks. Good to know. We righted the tent, shoved our duffle bags and other items inside, and fell back asleep without further incidences.